10:45pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Pioneer Theatre, 155 E. 3rd St, between Ave A and Ave B
- COST:$10
- SUMMARY:”Poor Ricky — as a child he saw his parents slaughtered by a psychotic murderer in a Santa Claus suit, and then he had to go into an orphanage run by a sadistic nun. Now he’s grown-up and out in the world, with his first real job… doing guess what? Playing good old Saint Nick! Those little boys and girls just better watch out… cause Santa Claus is coming to town.”
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10pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Galapagos, 70 North 6th St, between Kent and Wythe, Williamsburg
- COST:FREE
- SUMMARY:”Come celebrate the holidays with See and Be Scene where we are all on the naughty list! On the eve of Christmas Eve we bring you the trashiest, nastiest rock and roll bands in New York! Bring your dancing shoes, spirited attitude and your drinking helmet. You can even take your picture with Santa! (See and Be Scene is not responsible for possible Santa cop-a-feels)”
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8pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Comix, 353 West 14th St at 9th Ave
- COST:$20
- SUMMARY:”Assume the Position examines the stories that made up America and the stories that America made up. During the show, history buff Wuhl takes his audience on a lighthearted journey to show how legends are created, exploring familiar chapters in America’s past that owe more to popular culture than fact. In the process Wuhl might just be the funniest social studies teacher you’ll ever meet.”
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7pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:The Peoples Improv Theatre, 154 W. 29th Street, between 6th and 7th
- COST:$8
- SUMMARY:”Need to pick up a holiday gift for that special someone? Well, head on over to Feingold’s department store… where the selection is endless, the prices are low and the sales associates are always smiling (if they don’t smile we stuff them in cold metal crates and make them read Judy Blume novels). In this 50-minute sketch show, Cleanest River in America takes you through Feingold’s aisles and helps you see that Christmas is about more than just getting presents. It’s also about buying them. And murder. Murder’s a big part of Christmas, too.”
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7pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Pioneer Theatre, 155 E. 3rd St, between Ave A and Ave B
- COST:$10
- SUMMARY:”In this magical tale, an unsuccessful actor, Johnny Jones (Till Schauder a.k.a. Terror), takes the only part he can get - as Santa Claus handing out flyers in New York’s Christmas frenzy. Hating this unwanted “lead role”, Santa punches, steals and smokes his way through Manhattan. But everyone deserves a moment of luck, and so even this malevolent St. Nick eventually meets his Angel (Kristy Jean Hulslander). In a fabulous Christmas romance, Johnny Jones, a timely asphalt cowboy full of illusions, experiences his own “Miracle on 34th Street.”"
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6:30pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St between Broadway and Church
- COST:$18 in advance, $20 at doors
- SUMMARY:”Sean Altman (What I Like About Jew, Rockapella) presents a newly erected, Jew-themed variety show: JEWMONGOUS, featuring Sean and guests, Todd Barry, Cindy Kaplan, Steve Goodie and Ted Greenberg. All faiths are welcome, especially Jews.”
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3pm and 8pm — Saturday December 23 (also December 25)
- WHERE:Cathedral of St. John the Divine, 1047 Amsterdam Avenue at 112th St
- COST:$40
- SUMMARY:”Celebrate the holiday season with EM/NY’s traditional holiday presentations in the festooned Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Recorded on the Ex cathedra label, this concert will feature perennial highlights including Hildegard von Bingen’s De innocentibus (a poignant plaint to the Holy Innocents); the hauntingly beautiful Beata viscera by Notre Dame’s Master Perotin, Angelus ad virginem; a Latin hymn of the Annunciation referenced by Chaucer in the Canterbury Tales; lively 13th-century Italian laude and Spanish cantigas – all accompanied by a trove of medieval instruments.”
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1:30pm, 3:25pm, 5:20pm, 7:15pm, 9:10pm — Saturday December 23
- WHERE:Film Forum, 209 West Houston Street, between 6th Ave and Varick (7th Ave)
- COST:$10.50
- SUMMARY:”“If life were only like this.” Abie’s Irish Rose for the 70s, as Woody Allen’s Alvy Singer loves and loses Diane Keaton over the years between screenings of The Sorrow and the Pity, with a meet-cute helpfully subtitled with real meanings and media visionary Marshall McLuhan popping up to silence an arthouse pontificator.”
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11am-6pm — Tuesday-Saturday
Closes December 23
- WHERE:Jonathan LeVine Gallery, 529 W. 20th Street, 9th Floor between 10th and 11th Ave
- COST:FREE
- SUMMARY:”For Donna con Bambino, Shag depicts his stylized, seductive women posed in lavish interiors accompanied by their pets — both unconcerned by the news of natural or man-made disasters airing live on their televisions. Surrounded by beautiful things, and enjoying life, these hedonistic women evoke aloofness in the face of disaster. The viewer is invited to study these blithe women and how they are reacting to, or not reacting to, the outside world.”
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