UNCOOLKIDS

A selection of short films from WHOLPHIN

7pm — Monday January 1

WHERE:Barbes, 376 9th St, at 6th Ave, Park Slope
COST:$8 suggested donation
SUMMARY:”Wholphin is a new quarterly DVD magazine from McSweeney’s, lovingly encoded with unique and ponderable films designed to make you feel the way we felt when we learned that dolphins and whales sometimes, you know, do it.”

5pm — Monday January 1

WHERE:Union Hall, 702 Union St. at Fifth Ave., Park Slope, Brooklyn
COST:$10
SUMMARY:”The idea is that the Harry Potter from Year 7 and the Harry Potter from Year 4 started a rock band. And now, no one can stop the wizard rock.”

4pm-10pm — Monday January 1

WHERE:Ukrainian National Home in the way back, 140 2nd Ave at 9th St
COST:FREE, but plan on spending about $10 or so at the restaurant to make it worth their while. RSVP requested (mfass@lgc.org)
SUMMARY:”Celebrate the New Year with Friends and Musicians, EVERYBODY is invited to come eat Eastern European food and Toast the New Year. ATTENTION Zlatne Uste, The Squirrels, The Lumiis, The Strung Out String Band, The WIYOS, the Velmeers, Rachelle Garniez, SSP and others: ALL BALKAN AND NON BALKAN BANDS WELCOME. The day is free form and will evolve, so bring your instruments. ATTENTION dancers: We can dance, We can make merry”

2pm-Midnight — Monday January 1

WHERE:The Poetry Project at St. Marks Church, 131 E. 10th St at 2nd Ave
COST:$15
SUMMARY:Featuring over 150 poets, musicians, and artists, including Patti Smith, Jim Carrol, Eric Bogosian, and Steve Earle.

2:45pm, 6:15pm, 9:45pm (for Sleeper)
1pm, 4:35pm, 8pm (for Bananas) — Monday January 1

WHERE:Film Forum, 209 West Houston Street, between 6th Ave and Varick (7th Ave)
COST:$10.50 (2 for 1 Double Feature)
SUMMARY:Sleeper: “Waking up in 2173, Woody’s Miles Monroe finds out his rent is “2,000 months overdue” and he’s the only person alive without an identification number in what’s now a police state — and soon he’s on the run with rebel Diane Keaton.”

Bananas: “Woody’s Fielding Mellish becomes a banana republic’s first Jewish president when the former jefe demands fresh underwear (worn outside) on the half-hour. With sportscasting legend Howard Cosell play-by-playing an assassination and a marriage consummation.”

1pm-4pm — Monday January 1

WHERE:Merchant’s House Museum, 29 E 4th St, between Lafayette and Bowery
COST:$10 suggested donation
SUMMARY:” To celebrate the New Year and a widely popular 19th-century New York City tradition, the Merchant’s House will receive ‘callers’ on January 1. Tour the house decorated for the holidays, learn about the forgotten custom of New Year’s Day calling, enjoy a cup of warm cider, and take a tour of the historic neighborhood.”