Archive for the 'Games' Category

Groggy, groaning, gurgly noises.

My head is killing me and WHERE are my PANTS??!! Well, let’s see… the last thing I remember was something about Left Foot on Blue- OH MY GOD… that’s right- last night I was at Disco Crisco Twister!!!!!

*****FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT*****

I arrive cool and collected to Arlene’s Grocery, a trashy little place with great style- just the kinda place where ‘Drama Queen’ shirts, converse sneaks and red leopard skin dresses abound. There’s a crowd playing FlipCup (and yes- it’s a drinking game).

Dana Sterling (Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling) and Annie Rocks (Music Promoter Extraordinaire) have teamed up once again to bring back the game of Twister, but this time with a twist- they’ve added a colorful slippery Crisco-like substance to the game board. And, believe me- this game is a lot more interesting than it used to be.

The Ramblers, the house band, plays the Disco Crisco theme song with guest singer Stephanie from Rotten Cheri. An event with it’s own theme-song sounds like a good idea to me. Food Will Win the War had a different sound- go East Village!

DJ Skintight kept the great tunes coming when the bands weren’t playing. Colin, Alan and Jessica were our Emcees for the evening.

COLIN: Let’s lube this shit! (The slippery stuff is added & the games begin.)

Right Hand Green, Left Foot Red. I will survive, hey, hey.

ALAN: From here I feel like a proctologist with all these butts in the air. Dana is lubing up Becca, the birthday girl.

COLIN: That’s dangerous right there.

Right Foot Yellow, Left Hand Blue.

COLIN: This twister board has a mind of it’s own.

ALAN: Next time we should do it with a Ouiji board- I like the idea of evil spirits telling you where to go.

Dana takes on the board. I need some hot stuff baby this evening. She’s a very freaky girl, the kind you can’t take home to mother.

Left Foot Green, Right Foot Red. It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.

GUY ON TWISTER BOARD: He’s fuckin’ drippin’ sweat on me, dude— just go!

Left Foot Yellow, Left Hand Red. Just beat it, no one wants to be defeated.

Unexpectedly, this game of twister turns into twister in your underwear. Dude on board starts losing his boxers, but cannot move, lest he lose the game of twister. He’s not about to back down. Dana and Becca wrestle his boxers off of him. People- we now officially have erotic, lubed up, naked Disco Crisco Twister and everyone is covered in green goo.

Kindergarten takes the stage with an animated performance and fresh punk/funk sound. The NY moon is beautiful. They start losing their clothes, too.

BECCA: When in doubt, get naked!

Everyone on the dance floor is in their underwear- the undies have taken over!

Overall: It’s juvenile in the best possible way, it’s ridiculous, its fun! Come alone or with friends- play or even just sit on the sidelines and watch the action from an unsticky vantage point. It was kinda a mix between a frat party drunken brawl and a child’s sweet, innocent birthday party. I don’t even remember who won, but I would definitely do it again. Catch Disco Crisco Twister monthly.

Now, let’s see… what happened to my pants??

I love trivia and I’ve always wanted to go to Capone’s because of the free pizza deal. You get a WHOLE free cheese pizza with every drink you buy. Free pizza + trivia? What could be funner than that?

We arrived early because I had never been there before and wanted to make sure I got a seat. Luckily, Capone’s is a rather large dive-y bar and it was quite empty at 8:00 on a Tuesday. We had our pizza, which was really good for free pizza and waited for trivia to start. More people arrived and Gideon, our charming old-timey host, walked around trying to get teams together to compete. There were 3 teams competing for one prize: a glorious pitcher of beer. We were team uncoolkids competing against team just a second and team batcave.

The first round was fan-boy trivia and this time it was all about video games, which I know nothing about. At the end of the round, he passed out some white lined paper and gave us the names of a bunch of video games and we had to write down who the hero was. I got 2 points just for having a pen! I think we only got a couple right, but my random wrong answer of Marmaduke as one of the heroes got us an additional 3 points.

The next round was pop culture and we got all of these right. He had us finish the first line of a tv show theme song and name the show. I was BORN to play this game, having watched way too much television as a child and also possessing an idiot-savant like ability for remembering song lyrics. During the second part of this round, Gideon would describe a scene from a movie and you had to give him the name of the song and the artist that was playing during said scene. This was my favorite round. It was a lot of fun. Also, I knew all the answers so I felt all smart and stuff.

The next round was not as fun. It was all about booze and this time specifically about rum, which none of the teams really knew anything about. I guess the $500 my Dad spent so I could go to bartending school really was a waste. Sorry Dad. This was when team just a second bowed out. I asked if we could have their points but was denied.

Then it was time for Brooklyn trivia, which lucky for me, my teammates seemed to know a lot about. For the bonus round, you had to name 4 movies that featured The Brooklyn Bridge. We put Lonely Guy, Manhattan, The Baxter, and If Lucy Fell. They were all right, but our host hadn’t seen Lonely Guy or If Lucy Fell so he looked them up online because he didn’t believe us. We ended up being right, so we got extra points. Told you so Gideon.

The lightning round about Nations was really the deciding factor for this game. We kicked some team batcave butt. Gideon would give us a phrase, for example ’splitting the bill’ and we would respond with ‘going dutch’. Get it?

In the end, the winner was……..team uncoolkids!!! yay!! We won a lovely pitcher of Newcastle. It was a super fun cheap casual no frills kinda night. Perfect for a Tuesday night especially if you’re a little low on funds, like I was. I will definitely be back.

The Triviacrats happens every Tuesday night at 9pm at Capone’s Bar, N 9th St between Driggs and Roebling and it’s FREE.

I walked in to The Big Quiz Thing and the place was packed. No seats anywhere and none of my friends were there yet. It was only 7:30. Oh well. They finally arrive and we get our drinks and as Shannon hands me my jack and coke, it somehow spills up my sleeve. Not a good start to the night. I got a Big Quiz Thing pad and pencil from Noah Tarnow, the host, and my team and I force ourselves into a crowded corner by the doors so we have something to lean on. Our team name was uncoolkids dot com. Original, I know. My favorite team name of the night was “Buy more chairs”. Right on.

The quiz itself? HARD. I didn’t know I was so dumb. Actually, I was a little smarter than I thought. Here’s a hint: don’t second guess yourself. Every time I did, I was all “D’oh! I should have gone with my first guess.” There were five rounds with about 10-15 questions about movies, Fortune 500 companies, books, unusual deaths of famous people, candy bars, politics, even a ‘name that tune’ round…a little something for everyone. They also give away Smart-Ass Points. If you don’t know the answer, make something up, and if it’s funny, Noah will read it and decide if you get a Smart-Ass Point based on audience response.

I thought I had put together a pretty decent team and while we didn’t come in last, we certainly didn’t come in first, not even close. Regardless, we had a blast. Noah Tarnow is a charming and delightful host; not at all creepy and orange like a Bob Barker or Chuck Woolery type. And you can win prizes like books or CDs or Entenmann’s donuts (the team that was in 17th place won these) or the grand prize of the evening: $200!! The Big Quiz Thing is a good excuse to get your friends together and go out on a Monday night. Just get there early. I spoke with a regular who said she usually gets there at 6:30 or 7:00 to score a booth for her team . You can bring in outside food and have a couple of drinks before the show begins. Also, they want teams of at least four people, but never fear. If you show up alone, they’ll find a team for you. For those of you looking to cheat, don’t try it cause you’ll most likely get caught. Plus Noah doesn’t like cheaters and frankly, neither do I.

I can’t wait to go to The Slipper Room for The Big Quiz Thing again. Next time, however, I will get there early because I want a booth!!

So, with my friend, Honey in tow I braved the single digit wind chill and wandered through the streets of Brooklyn in UNCOOL anticipation. As we reached Freddy’s Backroom at 8ish PM, we smiled with elation while eagerly gripping 2 beat-up cardboard boxes, some plastic kiddie scissors, glue, styrofoam round thingees and a few other oddities we found lying around the apartment. We were ready for a fun-filled evening of making dioramas- yes, yes… you remember those adorably crappy little boxes filled with household crafty items and/or junk that your mother was once so proud of and your dad thought was just plain stupid.

We enter Freddy’s with delight. Huh- well, let’s see… there’s some band in the backroom breaking down their set, but we see NO other diorama-making creative geniuses anxious to play with primitive art supplies. So, we saddle up to the bartender.

ME: Oh, hi. We’re here for the Diorama Lodge.

BARTENDER: Oh… is it diorama night? No I don’t think so, I think maybe she took March off.

Ahhh, the disappointment was ALMOST too much to bear (especially since said bartender did NOT share a round of free drinks with these 2 weary diorama-less travelers to ease our sadness at this disheartening revelation. But, then we spotted them: 2 guys (strangers with an artistic glint in their eyes) hanging at the bar with all sorts of strange items that could ONLY be… yes, you guessed it- diorama supplies!!! Okay, SO THEN THERE WERE 4.

So, the next little while was spent constructing a nifty, yet half-ass group diorama over a pack of cherry Pez with folks named Fluff, Honey & Paul. We watched the little frogs swimming in the aquarium and discussed scuba diving in Thailand and fuzzy hats and discovered that everybody liked dogs. Ooh, and apparently Lake Baikl in Siberia is one of the freshest bodies of water and is home to blind fish, hummels and seals. “You will overcome many obstacles”, said the crumbly old fortune cookie from Fluff’s pocket.

No one from Freddy’s ever came by to check on us to take a drink order and we weren’t in the mood to hang at the bar, so we took a field trip with our new found friends down the street to Burrito Bar for some pom margaritas, cold beer and okay Mexican food- yum!

Overall: Wasn’t that impressed with Freddy’s, and the diorama lodge was kind of a bust cause it apparently was cancelled without all weblinks getting this info so the news was not widely spread. To be fair though, Freddy’s website had the correct information (THANKS FREDDY’S- WE STILL LOVE YOU), but it just goes to show you can have fun in any situation you happen to find yourself in as long as you have a little patience, some people willing to be silly, some pez and a smile.

PS: For anyone interested- according to the fortune cookie your lucky numbers are 12, 24, 47, 1, 25 & 38.

Some nights, I just feel like a grumpy old man. I don’t want to talk to you, and I certainly don’t want to stay home and watch that damned Ryan Seacrest. Kids today. Hmph. So, I went to Pete’s Candy Store for some good old-fashioned Bingo. What did I find? Kids! Uncool kids! They looked like a bunch of marijuana cigarette smoking hooligans if you ask me. Luckily, they were for the most part easy on these old eyes, and the sexual deviants in the crowd seemed to be intimidated by my maturity (judging by the fact that they did not immediately approach yours truly) so I was not at first forced to interact with the locals. But, by jove, then I won a game! You should have seen the jig I danced! Pete’s practices a particularly eclectic brand of bingo involving a combination of “standard” wins (one row across, any direction) with the more intricate “flying backwards L,” “six-pack,” and “holy crap that’s fast first to get to five” variations of bingo. My skills of observation were unthwarted by the multiple hot toddies I consumed, allowing me to crow “bingo!” well before the other drunken rabble present. Typical of the prizes they pass out, I won a set of finger paints which I gave to my truant niece, and a toy motorcycle which launches from a “helmet emitter” which I tried to give to a bum (but found later that my truant niece had wrestled it from the bum and kept it). Upon winning, I suddenly found myself far more popular. A strange woman claimed she lived with me. Following the prudent course, I ran for the door, but suddenly found myself in some sort of hippy back room where a singer-type was warbling at a melange of booze hounds. Clearly, I had gone the wrong direction in my haste. Dodging through the crowd as best I could I scurried back the way I’d come. Strange women in sloppy dress and boots that were fashionable in a time when I was considerably more virile consistently tried to direct me into their booths and “help” me. Harlots! Upon making it to the door, I saw McCarren Park to my left and made a run for it. Eventually, I took refuge somewhere in Greenpoint under the porch of an older Polish couple where I spent the night. Obviously, I will be back for bingo again next week.

Thanks to BlakeWallington who sent us this awesome footage of Pillow Fight NYC:

I was super excited about BINGO at Mo Pitkin’s cause really; I love Mo Pitkin’s even though I know I complain about the prices sometimes. It’s so cute and they have good latkes and this one drink that tastes like a creamsicle. And BINGO!?!? Well who doesn’t love that?

It started at 9:30 and I was running late because of the oh so reliable NYC transit system. Lucky for me, I had a reservation because the dining room where the BINGO fun takes place was completely full. So if you don’t like being turned away at the door, I suggest you call ahead or get there early cause you do not want to miss this. It was the funnest time ever!!!

Murray Hill, the host, and Harry, his beautiful debutante of a sidekick, were a great team. It had a very old-timey feel and there were even a couple of old-timers in the audience, but mostly the room was full of east village 20-somethings and a couple of people celebrating their birthdays.

It was an evening of laughter and fabulous prizes. My roommate won the first game we played and took home a magazine called My Comrade and a book on CD about managing your email (cause you know how email can be completely overwhelming sometimes.) Other prizes offered were: a my little pony; a hello kitty notebook and a book about kitties (this prize also included a look at Harry’s kitty…if you know what I mean); a magic 8 ball and a couple of shower caps; drink tickets; a Mo Pitkin’s gift certificate and t-shirt; a Murray Hill t-shirt; tickets to Joan Rivers’ show; and the grand prize of the evening: $120!! Sadly, I won nothing.

There were a couple of people that yelled BINGO at the same time, so there were tiebreakers that consisted of a beer chugging contest and an arm wrestling match. I ever so highly recommend this. You can eat and drink and laugh and play BINGO all at the same time. Also, there’s no drink minimum and the wait staff was totally cool with me and my one jack and coke. So yeah, if you like fun, you should check this out.

Booze & costumes, BOOZE & COSTUMES!

There’s gotta be more to the New York Art-Mob scene these days than booze and costumes. Well, booze, costumes and shopping carts in this scenario.

The 2007 Idiotarod was this past Saturday, the 3rd annual of such events when NYC Artsters of every stripe and color tie themselves to shopping carts, get drunk as a skunk-punk in a funk at a whiskey distillerty and haul ass through the city.

Based ironically (Kids these days LOVE the irony!) on the Alaskan Iditarod: A 1,151 mile dogsled race through Alaska which -for over a hundred years- has been proudly subjecting sleddogs and their mushers to brutal conditions such as blizzards, white-outs, gale-force winds, and wind-chill temperatures that drop to about -100 degrees F! (Heck, Disney made a movie about it, so it must be a good thing!)

If that sounds idiotic, you a’int been to the Idiotarod yet! The Idiotarod transfers this race down to the pavement of Gotham for all of us to enjoy. The Siberian Huskies have been replaced with Binge Drinking Idiots, and the dogsled with the ultimate symbol of transport for the nomadic derelicts of the city:

The Shopping Cart!

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If you were glued to the boob tube from 1950 to 1967, then you probably have fond memories of watching CBS’ “What’s My Line?”, the longest running game show in primetime TV history. But if you were barely a zygote then, you might not know the premise. Fortunately, Vicehead Productions has brought it back, hosting live “What’s My Line?” stage shows at the Parkside Lounge in the East Village.

Run by gracious hosts Clams Casino and Neil O’Fortune, “What’s My Line?” invites people from all walks of life to walk on stage and subject themselves to interrogation by a table of witty panelists. Using questions that elicit only a “yes” or “no” answer, the panelists must try to guess the contestant’s profession. For every wrong guess, the contestant wins $5.00, maxing out at $50.00.

Every show a celebrity guest is invited to participate, and the panelists must blindfold themselves before this contestant is allowed on stage. Past celebrity guests include Martha Plimpton - what Uncoolkid doesn’t love “The Goonies”?! - and Michael Musto.

As an audience member, you can play along with the panelists by closing your eyes when Precious, the show’s assistant, flashes a sign stating the contestant’s occupation.

Wednesday night’s four unknown contestants were a librarian, a fetish clothing designer, a church vocal soloist, and a prostitute, respectively. Yes, a prostitute. She asked that her name not be revealed, and no I don’t have her number.

The panelists were as engaging as the contestants, some of whom were more revealing in their answers than others. Host Neil O’Fortune sat with the contestants and helped them answer the more ambiguous questions, such as Garth Winfield’s “Would your product be sold to adults and children?” (really, two questions in one). My Funniest Question Award goes to panelist Johnny Porkpie, a dead ringer for Kid Rock, who asked the fetish clothing designer, “Would your job be considered pornographic to, say, anyone in the midwest?”

When the unlikely prostitute, who wore a T-shirt and jeans and sat sort of slumped in her chair, said yes, she works in the “service industry”, panelist and blogger Lindsay Robertson joked, “Finally, a whore!” Later on in the round Robertson asked in more serious tones, “Can I guess? Are you a prostitute?” The girl shot her arms in the air and stated, “Yes!” with enthusiasm.

Even with blindfolds on, the panelist were able to identify the celebrity guests in just a few minutes. They were the Trachtenburg Family Players, who I knew only a bit about before I was able to talk to Jason Trachtenburg before the show. Jason and his wife Tina gather old slideshows from estate sales and write songs about fictional characters based on the photos. They tour nationally and sell out legendary venues (you can catch them at The Knitting Factory this month). I was amazed at their ingenuity. During our conversation, his twelve year old daughter Rachel - she plays drums in the band - bounded up to us, and I noticed her sneakers. For Uncoolkids, Chuck Taylors will never go out of style.

Clams and Neil will not be producing a December installment of “What’s My Line?” but there will be another live stage show at the Parkside Lounge in January 2007. If you’re looking for a lively night of entertainment, I suggest you check out their website and mark it on your calendar. Admission is only $5.00 and drinks are reasonably priced. You might even get the chance to walk on as a contestant. See you there!

This past weekend was the Come Out and Play Festival, “a street games festival dedicated to exploring new styles of games and play”. Many activities were offered, but the one that appealed to me the most was the GIANT game of Space Invaders.

That’s right, GIANT. Designers Kuan Huang and Evan Barba designed a version of everyone’s favorite Atari game to be projected onto the side of a building, with the player’s body as the controller. How could this not be amazing?

Space Invaders was being run outside of the Come Out and Play opening ceremony, so luckily the wine was free flowing, and people were anxious to line up for the game. I waited for about 15 minutes before I got my turn. The way it worked was that they pointed a video camera at me which then was fed into a motion sensor program on a laptop and calibrated specifically for my height. At the top of the building across the street I could see the invaders from space, slowly making their way down the side. I could also see my spaceship at the bottom. If I leaned to the right, it went right, If I leaned to the left, it went left. When I wanted to shoot, I had to throw my hands over my head (really just one hand, but everyone was using both, it was hard not to for some reason). The whole thing was much more tame than I was expecting.

It was fun, and I’m glad I did it, but I wish it had been more exciting. I was anticipating running back and forth under the invaders. I thought I would be out of breath when it was over. They could even spice it up more if they gave you a plastic gun to aim.

Everyone who took a turn lasted about a minute before they got bored; especially because there was only one level. The general consensus of the crowd seemed to be that Space Invaders was way more fun to watch than to play. So, not quite amazing, but a really interesting start.